Trumpapalooza: Chocolate Factory of Political Nonsense

I did not immerse myself into The Donald Trump Show, a specaial called: Trumpapalooza. I did not bother to read Five Take Aways from what is billed as GOPer two-day midterm convention–a festival supposed to tout the Trump’s accomplishments before the 2026 elections. Actually I am tired of the zany antics of this president. It would be funny if it were a sitcom. But it is not.

The one big thing I did hear from this new episode in Season 6 of The Donald Trump Show is he is going to give me $5,000 if the GOP holds the majority in Congress, not necessarily a golden ticket to a chocolate factory. It is more of sweeting the midterm elections using fee speech and money. It is an old take on Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. It is easier than getting people drunk enough to vote for you.

When it comes to Trump I find myself like Lucille Ball and Ethel Mertz in an I Love Lucy episode that aired way back on September 15, 1952. First, before I go any further, I must say I did not see this episode when it aired in prime time. It is a classic I Love Lucy called Job Switching. I saw the show as a kid when Lucy was a perennial morning re-run on local TV. It was Friends or The Big Bang Theory of its day.

But back then it was a time of Black and White TVs. It was in time before morning news and celebrity talk shows. It was time with three network channels and maybe one or two local independent stations. And it was a time way before a 24/7 nonstop news cycle feeding us endless drivel.

“….And a man talks on the radio
He’s telling me more and more about some useless information supposed to fire my imagination…” (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction Rolling Stones

My sisters loved the Lucy show. So in the time of limited screens and limited content to pick from; I had two choices: either watch Lucy and Ethel in the chocolate factory or go outside. I am sure my sisters felt the same way when The Three Stooges came on. I feel this way with Trumpapalooza. I feel like I am the Loo-zah.

For those of you who are not familiar with the episode in question Lucy and Ethel take jobs wrapping chocolates while their husbands Ricky and Fred do housework. It is a classic theme often depicted in sitcoms: who has the tougher job? The theme is nothing new. Shakespeare uses a variation of this theme in various plays and Mark Twain wrote a novel called The Prince and the Pauper.

According to mashed.com‘s description Lucy and Ethel’s work day begins “With a bellowing “Let’r roll,” the conveyor belts starts up. At first, Lucy and Ethel think they can handle it, dutifully wrapping the chocolates. But they quickly realize they’ve overestimated their own abilities. But their jobs are on the line — not to mention the bet with their spouses — so Lucy and Ethel go to battle with the chocolates the fastest way they know how: stuffing them in their mouths and into their clothes. Lucy turns to Ethel, whose mouth is so crammed with chocolates she cannot speak, and declares “I think we’re fighting a losing game!” As the chocolate rate gets faster and faster, it becomes manifestly clear that they cannot possibly keep up — but their workplace fiasco makes for truly memorable comedy.”

When it comes to what Trump says, in many ways, makes me feel like Lucy or Ethel’s inability to deal with all that chocolate. They can’t eat it, they can’t stuff it in their pockets and they sure can’t wrap it. By sending more obnoxious, ignorant and incompressible ideas down the conveyor belt in the news cycle Trump is overloading the public’s ability to comprehend what is real and fake. It comes so fast we don’t know how to handle it. We can’t eat it and we can’t stuff it in our pockets.

The real paradox is that in order for Trump’s chocolates to come down the conveyor belt the news media becomes the chocolate shop pushing this crap on the public. The news media is not responsible for all the chocolate.It comes from a man who sues media outlets and complains constantly about the news media pumping out fake news–when he is the purveyor of most of it.

All of this reminds me of a quote attributed to the comedian WC Fields: “If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.” And I would add plenty of it.

You would think at some point in the consuming public’s need to know would tire of the constant supply of bovine excrement being heaped at our feet. You would think that the economics of supply and demand for this idiotic rhetoric would kick in and reach equilibrium. You would think that at some point along the demand curve the public’s craving for his diatribe would have some effect on the supply side of tainted chocolate coming from Trump and his cohort. Obviously not.

Or maybe it has. Maybe what we are witnessing is a drop in the quality of gas coming out of the bag. I thought Trump “jumped the shark” two years ago in the Presidential debate with Kamala Harris when he said: “They’re eating the dogs, the people that came in, they’re eating the cats…,They’re eating the pets of the people that live there, and this is what’s happening in our country, and it’s a shame.”

“No one in this world, so far as I know… has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people”–H.L. Mencken

But I was wrong. Just when you thought you hit the ceiling (or bottom) of ludicrous public discourse we were hit with memes of Trump as Jesus, the Pope and the late Hulk Hogan. We have seen Trump toting assault weapons and leading naval ships in modern rendition of “Damn the torpedoes. Full speed ahead.”

What upsets me the most is not Trump’s bombastic style, what I cannot understand is how the American public is still consuming this nonsense. As a viewing nation our IQ must deflating as our attentions span lives on cheap sugar. At what point do we realize we cannot keep inflating Trump’s ego. We need to turn off his confectionary conveyor belt of tweets, memes and map changes. We need to stop listening and looking for some sort of meaning in all this. Unlike Willy Wonka and his chocolate factory, there is no Trumpa Bar with a golden wrapper. Trump kept that one for himself.

“A tall ship and a star to steer her by.”

Not that I was looking; but I did not see one mention about the Apollo 11 moon landing 57 years ago. It was a race to the moon that ended on July 20, 1969. I know it was a basically a bunch of white men doing their thing; but it was still one of the greatest achievements of mankind, until they did it five more times. And now we are talking about going back in another race, this time with the Chinese. Historically speaking it should be a day remembered.

Like most Americans of that time I was swept up with the Space Progam. It was an outgrowth of the Cold War with the Soviet Union and became the noble quest of President John Kennedy who challenged the country to begin searching the final frontier. Or was it a modern version of Camelot with space as our search for the Holy Grail–on the moon.

We shall send to the moon 240,000 miles away, a giant rocket, more than 300 feet tall on an untried mission to an unknown celestial body, and then return it safely to Earth. But why some say the moon? Why choose this as our goal? And they may well ask, why climb the highest mountain? Why 35 years ago fly the Atlantic? We choose to go to the moon. We chose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things not because they are easy, but because they are hard. Because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we’re willing to accept. One we are unwilling to postpone. And therefore, as we set sail, we ask God’s blessing on the most hazardous and dangerous and greatest adventure that man has ever gone.–President John Kennedy “Moon Speech” on September 12, 1962 in Rice Stadium. 

It is interesting in what motivates man. I really do think President Kennedy comparing space flight to sailing was apropos. He said, “we set sail, we ask God’s blessing on the most hazardous and dangerous and greatest adventure that man has ever gone.” But when you think about it, most voyages of exploration are hazardous and dangerous excursions into the “unknown.”

Take Ferdinand Magellan’s voyage to around the Earth. With five ships and 270 men he left Spain on September 20, 1519. His expedition returned September 6, 1522 with one ship and about 40 men–he was not one of them. Magellan’s three-year trip would be more on line with going to Mars today. Currently it would take Elon Musk about three years to get there and back.

But blasting off for the moon was an adventure on the level with the ancient mariners. I love Kennedy’s metaphor of sailing. It reminds me of John Masefield’s poem Sea Fever:

I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by,
And the wheel’s kick and the wind’s song and the white sail’s shaking,
And a grey mist on the sea’s face, and a grey dawn breaking.

Man has always been blessed, or cursed, with a natural curiosity of what is on the other side of the mountain or beyond the horizon. When I think of going into space it reminds me of the sea voyages of the ancients, particularly the Greeks. The various Greek city-states might have been in competition for land in Greece but it was the open sea that allowed them to expand their horizons.

Geographically Greece is on the Balkan Peninsula with the longest coastline in Europe. The real factor though is that the land on this peninsula is mountainous–80 percent. Greek city-states trying to feed growing populations on mountainous land became a real problem. The solution was to establish over-seas colonies that relieved over population; but colonization also increased trade bringing to the city-states much needed food stuffs from as far away as the Black Sea and Spain. (I am not sure if the concept of colonizing the moon or Mars would either ease any over population issues on Earth or create trade.)

Dipal 1965 via Wikimedia Commons

Greek sea travel was not so much the age of sail as it was a man-powered voyage. Facts and Details says, “a ‘long day’ journey by an oared vessel” could be 140 miles “believed to be 16 hours traveled at seven or eight knots an hour.” Most Greek mariners hugged the coast line using line of sight and recognizing land features. This type of sailing made it easier to navigate. Plus, it made necessary stops for resupplying essential needs, like fresh water, easier.

Although longer voyages across the Mediterranean were not uncommon it wasn’t until more sophisticated navigational instruments were developed, like the Astrolabe, did mariners become more confident in pushing further out to sea. It took centuries for Mediterranean sailors to refine navigation that would allow sailors, like Columbus and Magellan, to take longer voyages across the Atlantic and to circumnavigate the globe. It took centuries to build better ships to utilize better navigation.

“The astrolabe, which is a precursor to the sextant, is effective for determining latitude on land or calm seas. Although it is less reliable on the heaving deck of a ship in rough seas, the mariner’s astrolabe  was developed to solve that problem. It is able to measure the altitude above the horizon of a celestial body, day or night; it can be used to identify stars or planets, to determine local latitude given local time.”–Wikipedia

Khalili Collections /via Wikimedia Commons

And since we are talking about seafarers one cannot omit the Polynesian. Seafarers whose navigation skills, according to Wikipedia relied “heavily on constant observation and memorization. Navigators have to memorize where they have sailed from in order to know where they are. The sun was the main guide for navigators because they could follow its exact points as it rose and set. Once the sun had set they would use the rising and setting points of the stars. When there were no stars because of a cloudy night or during daylight, a navigator would use the winds and swells as guides.”

In the 1960s NASA was tasked with assembling, scientists, fledgling aerospace companies and test pilots to come up with how to traverse 240,000 miles of open space and put men on the moon–with no stop overs. And, to do it in less than 10 years. Unlike past seafarers NASA had to invent and improvise. There was very little institutional knowledge of human space travel. What they did from Kennedy’s Moon Speech in 1962 to that one giant leap in 1969 is really a technical miracle. Especially if we look at what they had to use compared to what we have today.

For instance if we just look at the computer used on Apollo 11: the Apollo Guidance Computer. Apollo 11Space called this 70 pound computer, about the size of carry-on luggage, “a pocket sized pioneer (for its time.)” It was a 20th century astrolabe.

Each Moon flight carried two AGCs, one each in the command module and in the Apollo Lunar Module. AGC in the command module was the center of its guidance, navigation and control (GNC) system. The AGC in the lunar module ran its Apollo PGNCS (primary guidance, navigation and control system).”–Wikipedia

The original uploader was Grabert at German Wikipedia., Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

I am not some sort of techno-geek. I do not know the first thing about what RAM is or how it works. I know nothing of processing speeds, or what 4G or 110 Megabits per second translates to. So comparing the AGC on Apollo 11 to the iPhone by the numbers means nothing until it is put into layman’s terms. I find what RealClear Science says “that the iPhone in your pocket has over 100,000 times the processing power of the computer that landed man on the moon” pretty impressive. There is our giant leap.

A leap, to paraphrase John Gillespie Magee, Jr. poem High Flight: Man has “slipped the surly bonds of Earth” and has “trod the high untrespassed sanctity of space,” and has “touched the face of God.”

Whether it was the ancient sailors on the seas or the astronauts in space, it really gives meaning to what Masefield meant when he said “all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by.”

A True Vulgarian: To Offend and Upset and the Art of the Upside Down Apology

I have to laugh at the recent Trump settlement with the IRS for what most people are calling $1.776 slush fund. I refuse to get offended or upset with these financial and legal shenanigans Trump is, and has, pulled over our heads. He has really refined the art of the steel from land deals with city and county commissions to the fleecing at the federal level.

And further more, I think we should just chuck all the democracy talk of, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, as too esoteric. We need to push that sort of fear and the death of our Republic to one side and look at what is going on with this administration’s shenanigans. Or as Merriam-Webster describes as the “devious trick(s) used especially for an underhand purpose;” or the “activity or behavior that is not honest or proper: deceptive or questionable practices or conduct.” Trump and Associates have refined the tools of democracy to boldly walk through the front door and then walk out the front door in broad daylight in plain sight with loaded pockets.

The funny part in all of this is we opened the door and let him. Their methods appears to some as a smash and grab, which was the case with his January Sixers cohort. With that said these are not the activities of say a cat burglar who tries to avoid being seen using stealth and deception like Cary Grant in the 1955 Alfred Hitchcock film To Catch a Thief. What we need to do is dumb the Trump administration down to something Hollywood could produce and everybody could see in relation to what the viewing public understands.

For instance, we could go back to the 1988 film A Fish Called Wanda. I am not going to rehash the entire movie but to quote Wikipedia the movie is a “heist comedy film…(that) follows a gang of diamond thieves who double-cross one another to recover the stolen diamonds hidden by their jailed leader.” Although, in our current state of affairs the leader is not jailed.

But according to PBS News, “As part of the (Anti-Weaponization) IRS settlement agreement, the U.S. is ‘forever barred and precluded’ from examining or prosecuting Trump, his sons and the Trump organization’s current tax issues, according to a one-page document posted to the Justice Department’s website on Tuesday’.”

I get it, there is a slight difference in the plot; but, get out of jail or stay out of jail, it seems to me to be the same side of the soon to be minted coin. A one-dollar commemorative coin featuring Trump’s image on both sides. Heads its Trump, tails its Trump. Unfortunately, it won’t be minted in time for the country’s 250th birthday. Too bad, we could honor our First President by going down to the Potomac River and see if we could throw them across the river.

Whatever the case may be, we are more familiar with heist movies than movies about democracy. If we consider what is going on in our government as a heist operation instead of governing or some sort of governmental effort to make America better, I think we can better understand the current workings of our government. I reference the movie A Fish Called Wanda but we could probably insert any of the Oceans movies going back to the 1960s with the Rat Pack, or the 2003 The Italian Job, or the Tower Heist (2011). It is all about the grift.

The reason I picked A Fish Called Wanda is for one particular scene where Otto, the vulgar American weapons expert hangs the sophisticated British barrister, Archie, out a window upside down demanding an apology. I just feel like Archie represents the American people. We are being hung upside down. Shaken down and now forced to apologize for crimes that somehow we were complicit in. (See Youtube link below for video)

Instead of ranting or raving about the current state of affairs we should do like what Roger Ebert said in his review of this Anglo/American comedy, laugh loudly when “eccentric people behave in obsessive and eccentric ways and other, equally eccentric, people do everything they can to offend and upset the first batch” Their motto could be: Find out how much there is, get it, and get.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwfuUyTMpVY