joe-biden

Pardon my French but you can…

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Many years ago I was taken aback when a female coworker admonished a colleague in a loud and brusk way. It seems that the colleague was getting on her for some work-related mistake. I was not privy to the conversation until the woman in question, a big ole country gal, boldly and loudly said, “If you ain’t ever made a mistake then I’ll kiss yar ass.” A creative statement that puts a lot to imagine.

You must pardon my retelling of this tale. I normally try to shy away from “fruity language.” It is not that I am against somebody cursing a blue streak. It is so many of us do it with little tact and grace. It usually is, as the above example, the closing statement to a forgone conclusion. However, I can really appreciate those who can poetically string together obscenities. They can be pearls on a necklace worn on the right occasion. And that is the point. If one wants to learn how to use profanity I would suggest a good primer is the movie The Big Lebowski. Jeff Bridges and John Goodman thread the pearls of profanity as if they were knotting The Barado Pearl Necklace. But it is not the profanity I want to address. It is the pardon, or the reason for the profanity; or the lack of contrition that brings on the profanity; or being the first to throw the proverbial stone.

 A perfect judge will read each work of wit
With the same spirit that its author writ,
Survey the whole, nor seek slight faults to find, –Alexander Pope An Essay on Criticism

The word pardon is being thrown around lately as if it was some sort of profanity. People are up in arms chucking rocks one way or the other about President Joe Biden’s pardon of his son Hunter. Republicans are losing their minds on setting free a key member of the Biden Crime Family; and Democrats are flopping around like a hooked bass on the bottom of the boat, gaffed upon ethics that only they follow. For them the worst thing that Old Joe did was telling a simple lie when he said he would not pardon his son. It’s not like he was selling cigarettes without the Surgeon General’s warning on the pack. Lying to the public is nothing new, and lately it has been elevated to a national past time. Organizations have made a living counting public lies. To paraphrase the lyrics to the theme song of the TV show Psych: I know you know I am not telling the truth. But yet here we are.

 Avoid extremes; and shun the fault of such,
Who still are pleas’d too little or too much.
At ev’ry trifle scorn to take offence,
That always shows great pride, or little sense; –Alexander Pope An Essay on Criticism

Biden did nothing wrong. Article II Section 2 of the Constitution gives Old Joe the power to pardon. It says nothing about family and relatives or the qualifications for a pardon. It simply states: “and he shall have power to grant reprieves and pardons for offenses against the United States, except in cases of impeachment.” I wonder if we ever have a female president the phrase and he shall would exclude a “she” and God forbid a they, it, them from pardoning somebody. Something that slipped the framers mind in 1787. Strict interpretation of the Constitution, right up to where the First Amendment delineates money is free speech.

The other thing that has the Dems going is that the pardon sets a bad precedent. The pardoning of a convicted felon, by-passing the legal system. A president doing something that “bends the law.” Come on man, the Supreme Court has taken care of that. A president can now break the law with impunity. Biden could send in Seal Team Six to bust Hunter out if he wanted too. The Glorious Era where the rule of law really matters is over. The rule of law is now just a lukewarm suggestion and only applies to those who can’t afford a well paid team of legal assassins. If anyone making under $50,000 a year was convicted of three felony tax offenses and six misdemeanor tax offenses; or 34 felony convictions on falsifying business records, they would have already been fitted with the orange jumpsuit. They would be well into the first year of their sentence. Let’s get real on governmental norms and precedents, that rocket left the solar system at warp speed when it was launched from a golden escalator in 2015.

But most by numbers judge a poet’s song;
And smooth or rough, with them is right or wrong:
In the bright Muse though thousand charms conspire,
Her voice is all these tuneful fools admire, –Alexander Pope An Essay on Criticism

The MAGA crowd on the other hand sees the pardon as a reason to set free the January 6 storm troopers. I hate to tell them but when President Elect Trump takes office he doesn’t need a reason to pardon that crowd of tourists. He claims that they have been subjected to America’s twisted legal system. I would say manipulated legal system. So don’t be surprised when he pardons the 1,000 or so people who have pleaded guilty or convicted in crashing the Capitol gates. These J-6 Patriots that were armed with hockey sticks, fire extinguishers, knuckle gloves and even a pitch fork were not looking for the District’s Pickle Ball court. And yet somehow they were ensnared in a weaponized and very corrupt legal system.

And if the means be just, the conduct true,
Applause, in spite of trivial faults, is due.
As men of breeding, sometimes men of wit,
T’ avoid great errors, must the less commit: –Alexander Pope An Essay on Criticism

But this is not the first time a president has pardon a group who could have easily been convicted of treason. Trump’s pardon would fit right in with President Andrew Johnson’s end-of-term blanket pardon of ex Confederates. According to usnews.com, “Andrew Johnson, on Christmas Day 1868, granted full pardons and amnesty to soldiers who had fought for the Confederacy against the Union in the Civil War. Critics say President Johnson was being too lenient with traitors, but Johnson argued that it was time for a massive gesture of reconciliation.”

On the other end of the gun in 1976, President Jimmy Carter pardoned 200,000 Vietnam War draft dodgers “in still another bid for reconciliation.”

According to NPR President Biden “announced he is commuting the prison sentences for nearly 1,500 people and pardoning 39 others in what the White House says was the largest act of clemency in a single day in modern presidential history.” But this in not the first time Biden has had a mass pardon. He issued a presidential proclamations pardoning thousands of people convicted for attempted marijuana possession, simple possession of marijuana and for using marijuana. Talk about rigged system. I think the Feds pulled pot laws right out of the Catholic Church’s “Bless me father” playbook: It is against the law for wanting to smoke pot; it is against the law for having (and not smoking) pot; and it is against the law for smoking pot. The problem, it was not three Hail Marys and an Our Father as penance–and you are back on the streets, as George Carlin joked about confession.

Of all the causes which conspire to blind
Man’s erring judgment, and misguide the mind,
What the weak head with strongest bias rules,
Is pride, the never-failing vice of fools. –Alexander Pope An Essay on Criticism

I am not sure if English poet and satirist, Alexander Pope, realized the conundrum he would create in the future when he wrote in 1711, “To err is human; to forgive, divine.” Back then the clergy had the power to forgive or sell an indulgence. Indulgence was based on the belief that in purgatory one could do a little time and wipe out their earthly transgressions. Then they could climb the stairs to the Pearly Gates with their Get Into Heaven Card. Forgiveness is also couched in Jesus asking a group of men who had already passed judgment on woman with questionable credentials. They were ready to exact the needed social religious punishment. With stones in hand, Jesus simply asked the men, who here has not sinned? Jesus did not ask them to pardon her. The thud of rocks hitting the ground followed.

But forgiveness is not the same as a pardon. Jesus made the stoning of Mary Magdalene personal. The men had to search their concessions in regards to their actions, not hers. A pardon is not personal. It is a government legal decision to overturn another government legal decision, for whatever reason or no reason at all. It could be argued in Biden’s case, the pardon was personal; for him but not for me. I did not have a rock in the fight.

As long as humans are around someone is going to trip over the rules; someone is going to deviate from the norm; someone is going to hop the fence and find themselves trespassing on Mr. Gilmore’s property. Hunter Biden is that someone. I know he tried to manipulate a weaponized legal system; but I don’t recall him saying, boldly and loudly: “If you ain’t ever made a mistake then I’ll kiss yar ass.”

He didn’t have to. His Daddy did, figuratively speaking that is.

Mars Attacks! Alien Invasion at the Border

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The 2024 Presidential election has opened up a new topic for squawking heads, political pundits, and anybody with a social media account as how the Democrats lost to Donald Trump for the second time.

Since I fall in the “anybody” category I, too, have a reason why the Democrats lost. Many believe it was “the crisis” at the border that shifted just enough voters across the spectrum into believing we were being invaded. Trump said that Harris had “unleashed an army of migrant gangs who are waging a campaign of violence and terror against our citizens.” And, if enough people believe that our country was a “dumping ground” or “garbage can for the world,” then maybe we are. So it is settled, immigration and not the economy stupid that tipped the election to Trump.

The GOP campaign made good use of the collective consciousness. They utilized the natural fears of invasion and immigration that lingers in the depths of every human. It is the visage of Mongol Hordes streaming across the steppes of Eurasia. But for us, it was much more subtle. The GOP was able to frame it not as an invasion, but a “Crisis at the Border.” This, despite the fact that “this crisis” has been going on in some form or another since the Reagan Administration. Additionally, they were able to give Joe Biden and Kamala Harris each a violin to play Cotton-Eyed Joe at the border, much the same way Nero fiddled away as Rome burned.

The GOP kept it in the realm of reality without creating mass hysteria like Orson Welles’s War of the Worlds. Immigrants at the border were not carrying ray guns. They were just plain old common everyday thugs, murderers, rapists and the criminally insane. According to Reuters, Trump in a campaign speech in Wisconsin said, immigrants “who had committed violent crime (were) “monsters,” “stone-cold killers” and “vile animals”. Anybody who watches the myriad of Law and Order or CSI shows can relate to the vile scum that walks our streets. Despite some of the harsh rhetoric and images, the GOP did kept it comical with hungry dog-eating immigrants chowing down in “Oh me-o, oh my-o, oh” Springfield, Ohio on all sorts of stray pets. These comments create graphic images.

The Democrats, on the other hand, put to much emphasis on Democracy and Fascism. Fascism is real life crisis but a nebulus one at best. I ask, how many fascist are crossing the Rio Grande? My only real understanding of fascism is a graphic picture of Benito Mussolini hanging upside down with his mistress and two other unfourtants in Milan in 1945. Without a doubt fascism played a huge part in World War II. And in the wrong hands, it is a form of government without checks and balances. Collectively speaking, about 80 million Italians and Spaniards were under fascist rule. Americans: zero. Hitler and National Socialism is a whole other political animal. That’s a topic I will leave to the Tiki Torch Brigade.

The Democrats, with their Hollywood connection should have dipped into the movie vault to combat the Trump campaign’s attacks. They should have taken their cue from hundreds of alien invasion movies. They should have embraced holding the borders as if it were the last line of civilization. Harris and Walz should have been channeling President Thomas Whitmore and General William Grey in the movie Independence Day. With the world in flames they were marshalling every available resource to avoid the eradication of the human race.

To many voters Harris did very little to halt the “crisis” at the border. It never reached her to do list. If I was in the inner sanctums of Harris campaign I would have strongly suggested that they watch Mars Attacks! They should have seen the disastrous effects on how not to handle an alien invasion. Although Earthlings were able to beat back the Martians, it took a toll on our government. As President James Dale said after the Martians blew up Congress: “I want the people to know that they still have two out of three branches of the government working for them, and that ain’t bad.” Something that we can attest to now. The real question is which branch is falling to the ground at any given time.

It is interesting that the movie is based on Topps Trading Cards, the same company that gave us Baseball Cards. In 1962, the year after Maris and Mantle were swinging for the fences, Topps released a 55-card set Mars Attacks! Today it would be a graphic novel. The Democrats could have taken a cue from Donald Trump. Trump has his own brand of trading cards and other marketable collectables like Bibles, watches and top secret documents. Dems could have gotten into the collectables business. They could have marketed immigration. They could have gone to Topps Trading Cards to get them to reissue the 55 card collection and handed the cards out at every Harris/Walz rally. They could have enhanced the cards by saying collect them trade them; collect all 55 and you can set yourself in a sub level Cabinet position, or become an ambassador to one of the many “shithole” African countries.

Every generation dating back to the Irish Potato Famine to Cubans fleeing Castro has dealt with some sort of alien invasion. But nothing brings a chill to the spine then movies like the 1951 hit The Day the Earth Stood Still, the 1996 film Independence Day to the 2024 Alien: Ramulus, a continuation of the 1979 movie Alien. People get the idea of Arnold Schwarzenegger battling an outer space predator with his bare hands. The Democrats failed to depict Harris as battling to save our country. Instead, Harris let Trump paint her as being “mentally impaired.” Democrats should have headed General Decker’s advice to President Dale in Mars Attacks! when Dale’s aides were advocating negotiating with the Martians, “They don’t know what the hell they’re talking about.” Decker ranted. “Liberals, intellectuals… peacemongers, idiots!!” Decker encapsulated the John Birch society’s mantra that has resonated through the conservative soul for decades.

Whatever your views are on immigration, Trump played Harris like a set of bongos. Harris, much like President Dale, who did nothing to stop the invasion, ended up supine on the floor.

Ironically, the movie ends with a Mariachi Band playing The Star Spangled Banner on the steps of the destroyed Capitol. There is some interesting symbolism there.

Mars Attacks Cards: The Ultimate Collector’s Guide

Trump was Turned Inside Out

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Like 50 to 60 million other Americans, I watched the Presidential Debate between former president Donald Trump and Vice President Kamala Harris. I also watched the first Presidential Debate where Joe Biden’s political career dissolved much the way the Wicked Witch of the West fizzled away in The Wizard of Oz.

To many MAGA people, and many on the right, there was reason to cheer the demise of the leftist leader. “Socialism is Dead,” “Hail to Trump!” Trump was all set to grab the burning broom and fly into history. The polls were tight but Trump seemed to have a solid edge in the presidential grudge match. Biden’s quick exit from the ring was like some sort of pro wrestling cage match where the loser leaves. And this could literally be true. With Trump in control of the broom, and the Ruby Slippers, most of the criminal charges against him go away, along with his political antagonists. Trump has made it clear retribution will be swift, unlike his court cases. And sticking with the movie theme, Trump may start to channel mob boss Don Vito Corleone in The Godfather: “Revenge is a dish best served cold.”

But not so fast, as different as the two debates were, there are some stark comparisons. The two debates could have similar endings. After Biden’s debate, I would say crash and burn but that would mean he actually left the runway and got airborne. The Democratic Party pulled Biden out of the pilot’s seat and managed to park that plane quickly showing Biden the door. Biden was Chauncey Gardiner, Peter Sellers, in the movie Being There, leaving the garden he worked in most of his life. Whatever your political bent is, it was sort of sad to see Biden’s slow, mental meltdown, like a bowl of ice cream in a sauna. I believe it surprised Trump that after 90 minutes he was debating a man who could have been described before the debate as Rocky Road but was now just warm, sticky, mushy Cookies and Cream.

The Trump/Harris debate was different. As the debate went on I thought Harris was channeling Bugs Bunny, leading Trump down a series of rabbit holes as if he were Elmer Fudd wondering if he should have taken a left turn at Albuquerque. To some, Trump is a Looney Tune, but no Elmer Fudd. The longer the debate went on the more he reminded me of Anger, the Lewis Black character in the movie Inside Out. I could visualize a blue blaze of jet flame shooting out of the top of Trump’s head. The only time he opened his eyes was when he was mad.

As for Harris, when she added to the Bugs Bunny rif, she expanded her persona. If we stick with the Inside Out motif, I would say she added equal parts of Fear, Disgust and Joy. During the debate she may have been short on specific policies, but she played upon the Democratic Party’s anti-Trump emotions: Fear, if he gets reelected and the disgust of actually having to live through another Trump administration. But most of all the joy if he loses.

In the first debate we saw President Biden fall off the stage and carried away. In the second debate we may have just witnessed another president exiting the stage. It is hard to judge the impact of the debate on November’s election today. The question is: Will the debate be a reason American voters shove Trump off the stage for good.